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Blue Eggs and Ham script parody
Cassandra: I am Cass...Cass-I-am.
Nightmare: That Cass-I-am! That Cass-I-am! I do not like that Cass-I-am!
Cassandra: Do you like blue eggs and ham?
Nightmare: I do not like them, Cass-I-am. I do not like blue eggs and ham.
Cassandra: Would you like them here or there?
Nightmare: I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like blue eggs and ham. I do not like them, Cass-I-am.
Cassandra: Would you like them on a mat? Would you like them with a Rat?
Nightmare: I do not like them on a mat. I do not like them with a Rat. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere. I do not like blue eggs and ham. I do not like them, Cass-I-am.
Cassandra: Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a Voxx?
Nightmare: Not in a box. Not with a Voxx. Not on a mat. Not with a Rat. I would not eat them here or there. I would not eat them anywhere. I would not eat blue eggs and ham. I do not like them, Cass-I-am.
Cassandra: Would you? Could you? In a
Riley Pitt Character Profile
Age: 21 years old
Birthplace: Columbia, MO
Birthday: February 11* (Aquarius)
Major: social work
Type: a future clinical social worker for female victims
Hair: platinum blonde
Eyes: light blue
* Riley's surname comes from Brad Pitt, who was once a journalism major at the University of Missouri before dropping out (1 credit shy of graduation).
* Riley has the same birthday as Sheryl Crow who also attended the University of Missouri.
Stacy Kutcher Character Profile
Age: 19 years old
Birthplace: Cedar Rapids, IA*
Birthday: March 26* (Aries)
Occupation: student/teaching assistant
Type: a university professor's "pet"
Hair: dark blonde
* surname is used after Ashton Kutcher, who used to attend the University of Iowa as a biochemical engineering major before dropping out to start his acting career.
* Stacy lives in the same place Ashton was born.
* has the same birthday as Tennessee Williams, who graduated from the University of Iowa, majoring in English.
Cyrus Thompson Character Profile
Age: 19 years old
Birthplace: Minneapolis, MN
Birthday: April 3* (Aries)
Occupation: student/debate team member
Major: American studies
Type: a future helper of the President ("Go, America!")
--> is a huge fan of Captain America* since Cyrus has a "signature square-shaped pillow" with him.
* named after Cyrus Northrop, who was once the President of the University of Minnesota.
* Cyrus' birthday is the same as the death of Cyrus Northrop.
* Captain America belongs to MARVEL.
Taylor McCartney Character Profile
Age: 21 years old
Birthplace: Lawrence, KS*
Birthday: October 1* (Libra)
Type: a typical daddy's boy
Hair: blonde (originally brown)
* named after Taylor Mali, an American slam poet, who also got his Master's in English/Creative Writing at Kansas State.
* Taylor lives in the same place near the University of Kansas, a rival school of Kansas State.
* Taylor's birthday is the same as Theresa Vail, who is also known as Miss Kansas since 2013.
Jeremy Carson Character Profile
Age: 23 years old
Birthplace: Omaha, NE
Birthday: January 23* (Aquarius)
Major: food science
Type: a strict vegan
Eyes: dark brown
* Jeremy's surname is used after Johnny Carson, who also attended the University of Nebraska.
* Jeremy's birthday is the same as Johnny Carson's death.
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More